Stage Hypnosis

Summer season in Minorca for Comedy Hypnosis Stage Show
At least now its the sheep and not the man that gets sacrificed

A Trip of a life time:

Being the wife of a comedy stage hypnotist is not as glamorous as some people think:   thank you for following my ramberlings

One of my many happy memories about Minorca was the San Juan (St John) festival in June, or as Simon called it the dancing horses: it goes on for days and has many strange customs attached to it but I will tell it as it was told to me, I may not be historically correct, but it may be more fun this way…..

We knew nothing, happily pushing the boys on the swings in the town square in Cuidedella, there were a lot more people around today, and some strange little stalls selling some yellow liquid. Then we heard it, music, floating on the air, a flute maybe and a drum, it got steadily louder.

Around the corner came the flute and drum, followed by a donkey, decorated in flowers and coloured braid being led by a man in costume, behind him a young man walked bare foot (remember this is Spain, its June and the path is hot) he is dressed in a sheep’s fleece and is carrying a very white sheep across his shoulders, it is definitely alive as it was bleating, I don’t think I have ever seen a sheep so white, it had small coloured ribbons tied in bows all over it.

Four horse men followed the precession, also in costume, “its times like this I was so glad to be carrying a camera”
We watched as they walked to one of the larger houses that surrounded the square and knocked on the door, it opened and they all went inside, (including the horses) after ten minutes they all appeared, and walked around the square to another door which opened then closed in their faces……….. not very polite.

Lots of people where rushing over to rub the sheep for luck, I thought this seems like a good idea and took my turn, an elderly lady nodded and smiled at me, then told me to touch the sheep helps to make fertility “many many baby’s”
I rushed back into the park and plunged my hand into the fountain, scrubbing as I did so. All those following this story will understand,,,,,, as a mother of four I am happy to stop there.

Ok so the story goes that the boy with the “honour” of carrying the sheep bare foot through the street in 30 degrees, had a circuit of houses to complete, these house’s belong to the Mayor, council officials and people of long standing family’s, if they allow him to enter they feed him and his followers with a drink and small cake, if they refuse him entry he must do the circuit again.
Now a couple of hundred years ago this day ends with the young man of honour being thrown from the tower in the port as a sacrifice ” after hours of eating cakes and carrying a sheep bare foot in heat I should think he would have been pretty easy to nudge over the edge !”

However in our civilised age… the man will get a good foot soak and massage and the sheep will survive until the end of the week, where it will not only be part of a giant BBQ but will also make up a good part of a special stew !!

Continues tomorrow: We join in with the traditional drink and loose the use of our legs !!!

Show website www.thedreamweaver.co.uk

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Summer season in Minorca for Comedy Hypnosis Stage Show
Duggie gets his own back on the Dancing girls

A Trip of a life time:
Being the wife of a comedy stage hypnotist is not as glamorous as some people think:   thank you for following my ramberlings

We are coming to the end of the main season now, all those who are following the story (We are on part 20 )have already been introduced to Duggie, and the dancing girls “some of whom went home after their surprise visit from the cock roaches” but were replaced with equally blonde dancers !

So the girls are now living in the same apartment block as Duggie, and they decide to hold a Wednesday night bash at their place, however for some reason they decide not to invite Duggie, a bit mean of them especially as he lives near enough to hear the party in full swing.

I guess he thought about gate crashing but then had second thoughts as we never saw or heard from him that night, however the following evening when the girls were out performing their show he trickled some honey under their front door !
Again those who are following us will know that this wouldn’t be the first time the girls had had an apartment full of bugs,
by the time they came home, every ant in Minorca had heard about the free feast and were partying in their apartment !! they described it as a black floor moving “Yuck !”

They ran down to Duggie’s banging on his door and asking for help, he called through the door, sorry in the middle of a party and your not on the invite list ! turned his TV up and had another sip of whiskey.

Continues Tomorrow: The Knives are out for Chris

Show Website www.thedreamweaver.co.uk

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Stage Hypnosis Trip of a Lifetime
Day 1 Wednesday 4.30am

Finally finished gift wrapping everything for the trailer in bin bags, car loaded to the hilt with everything but the kitchen sink (the agent promised to supply that) final check list, hoping we haven’t forgotten anything, no room left even if we have !

Off we set on a freezing cold, drizzling night, ready for our big adventure in the sun. The Dreamweaver Comedy Stage Hypnosis Show hits the road The main drive from Newcastle to Dover was uneventful taking turns to change drivers about every hour and a half.

Arrived in Dover around 1pm - in plenty of time, more than plenty of time as our ferry wasn’t due to leave until 10.15pm! Ok so how do you kill around 8 hours in Dover when you cant leave the car as all your worldly belongings are in it? Not an easy task believe me. As someone who had never been to Dover, I think I was expecting it to be fairly big and quite grand, especially when you think its the first town travellers to our country see. Apologies to all those who are forced to live there, I say forced as a lot if them must be refugees waiting for the ok from immigration to stay in England. A small town, roughly the size of North Shields; with a lot of similar characters now I come to think about it. A town centre ( I use the term loosely) with lots of “discount market” & second hand furniture shops tucked between the various take away.

We spent most of the day parked by the harbour watching ferry’s &hovercrafts do there thing, sleeping for 20mins at a time and playing cards; at which Stuart delighted in whopping me, a good job we weren’t playing for money !
The sun did try to break free form the clouds and rain at one point, just as we were ordering take away pizza. The most spectacular double rainbow appeared over the port, “a sign” we thought, we followed it to the ferry terminal, and maybe they’ll let us on an earlier ferry if we ask nicely.
Sure enough, the next ferry is in 20mins the lady told us 8.30pm you may board that one.

We followed the cue of traffic onto the huge white gleaming ship, now it was starting to sink in, “we’re really doing this” I said to Stuart, “leaving England for months” That’s when it started to feel real. We stood on the deck and waved goodbye to the white cliffs of Dover, the street lamps twinkling against the cold damp sky, suddenly it didn’t look that bad.
We spent a relaxing couple of hours looking around the duty free shop and sniggering at the so called low prices, and drinking coffee, lots & lots of coffee and pro plus tablets to keep us awake , only another’s days driving to go !

Continues tomorrow. will we make it to Spain ?

Show website www.thedreamweaver.co.uk

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Day 2

The ferry docked 11.30pm ‘French time’- we set our watches & drove off into a foreign country. I must admit we found the motorway we needed fairly easily, but I was a little disappointed as I’d been sitting, passports in hand, and there was no-body there to even look at them, let alone put a cherished stamp on.
Driving on the right side of the road was a doodle on the motor ways, its the lane we normally use in England ! through the night there was very little traffic on the road the occasional lorry to overtake kept the driver awake.

We stopped for breakfast around 7am, the French equivalent to a little chief, but as the motorway a toll road, the prices are quite low, for 2 full English breakfasts including coffee it cost around £10.
A few more cars had joined the road by this time, we had read that a car and trailer should only travel at 50mph and normal cars at 80mph, we soon realised they must just be recommended guide lines as the cars were actually doing 100mph to 120mph ! We decided in view of this that it was ok for us to do 80mph as any police cars (not that we saw any ) would be busy trying to catch up to the other cars.

At lunch time we made our final stop at services in France, and got the pass ports ready to cross the border into Spain. Waved straight through, yet again no-one even wanted to see the passports, (could have saved a fortune) The main highlight driving through France must have been the vast vine yards, for miles as far as the eye could see, each vine no more than around 3ft high, but there was plenty of rain to help them out. At least it’ll be sunny in Spain, wont it?

The Spanish toll motor ways were much the same as the French, except the cars went a little faster ! Around 50 miles from Barcelona we decided to leave the main roads and head for the coastal route, after all we were 4hrs ahead of schedule ! Up through the winding mountains we climbed heading for Tossa au Marr, with a name like that it was worth a look.
Coming down the mountains we encountered a learner driver, perhaps on their first lesson, weaving the car from the centre line across to the barrier, that stood between the road edge and a 300ft drop over the side of a mountain, it was quite entertaining for us but I think the instructor must have aged about 20years on that day!

The coastal route was fun for about the first half hour, some of the towns were just concrete tower blocks for miles on end, Stuart described them as- West gate Road with sombreros ! (for those of you who live south of the river Tyne, just imagine the town nearest to you that you try not to drive through and would never walk through: you know the one thats always on the local news)

We headed once again for the motor way 20miles from Barcelona. The rain now intermittent, but it was starting to feel warm.
Barcelona is huge, a mixture of oldie worldly architecture and purpose built Olympic buildings every corner or roundabout holds either a display fountains of huge art deco sculptures - puts the angle of the north to real shame.

We found the road sign to the port with no problem, and the tunnel and roundabout that leads there, that’s where we hit our first problem, about 6 lanes of cars (official) more like 10 trying to cut from one side to the next,

“What Exit ? no idea ,cant see the signs for that lorry ! ” ok round again”
” This one, look theres the sign”, BEEP _BEEP !! Stupido BEEP!
Made it ….
Now where, lets ask, “what back down that way, well he must be right”
Oh no were back in the tunnel that leads to the roundabout” ! BEEP BEEP

Lots of ferry looking things that way, try going down there”
one way-no way through, oh no here’s the roundabout again !

By this time we now had 1 hr 30 mins to get to the ferry, and things were getting just a little tense in our car.

4th time around, take a deep breath made it, an open gate and now around 10 cars lined upon the dock. “they weren’t there before, a flash of the ticket at the gate , a man nods ” Si ”

We park in our allotted lane and Stuart goes to collect the boarding passes, practising his Spanish as he goes.
Looking around I notice 2 other cars with UK plates, loaded up to the hilt, I talk to one of the girls parked near our car, she is a comedian travelling with a friend who’s a puppeteer both are working on the Island for the summer, they’re old hands at this, 5 years in a row. They tell us that the other car belongs to a Scottish comedian ( in our story we will call him Duggie ) last seen propping up the bar in the main building. You’ll find Duggie appearing quite a lot over the next few pages, (we did).

Meanwhile Stuart was keeping the check in staff amused, showing them our passports and announcing in Spanish “my Mexican is in the car outside!” Long delays followed, so many lorries to load, I think to myself-this island is only 40 miles long, the lorries are going to take most of that !

Eventually they wave us on to the ferry about midnight, it should have sailed at 11pm. We park up nose to tail with the other cars, they like to pack them in very tight! So tight infact that a rather large German man and his wife driving the jag in front of us had to climb into there back seats to get out of the car, not a pretty sight ! Its a good job our door had enough room to open, as our car was so overpacked in the back that we would had had to spend the night in the hold !

We headed up towards the bar, and (yep) we found Duggie enjoying another whiskey , so full of pro plus he couldn’t sit still and was busy walking around doing his Colombo impressions.
Duggie had a key for a cabin, the man had looked at our tickets and said no, we hadn’t realised this needed to be done separately and resigned ourselves to the comfy chairs. Duggie took pity on us and said he’d had a night in a hotel in Barcelona and wasn’t tired, so gave the cabin to us, bless him. I went straight to bed The Ferry finally set sail around !.30am.

Part 3 comming up tomorrow: What will happen when we reach the Island.

show website www.thedreamweaver.co.uk

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A Minorcan tale Part 3

A Trip of a life time
Day 3 Friday.

I awoke around 8.30am the gentle rocking motion seemed a little stronger this morning ; I opened the curtains to greet the morning sun, this is Spain after all, Rain, Thunder & Lightening some of the most spectacular forks I’ve ever seen ! Well its Spain ,what else should we expect !

We made our way towards the smell of coffee. The first sighting of Menorca from the coffee lounge window was slightly obscured by the rain, we could see the lightening striking the mountains and hoped it wasn’t our apartment !
The ferry took as long unloading as it had loading up, ‘this is Menorca - no hurry’ at this point we realised we had a slight problem on this ferry, you need to reverse to the middle, then turn & drive off. They say there is a universal language, I began to realise it as other car drivers around us pointed to our trailer , made a turning around gesture with there hands and started laughing ! So that was the first time we’d unhitched since leaving Whitley Bay !

Finally we drove out onto the dock below. Duggie was waiting for us, along with our agent for the season, he welcomed us to the island and told us his name is “pronounced.. Hey Zeus” written down is Jesus. I bet the vicar who christened our kids wouldn’t have believed us is we’d told him we were going to Menorca for the summer to do work for Jesus !!

We followed the agent in convoy to his main office he introduced us to Ava his assistant, she would take us to our apartments, & Jesus would see us tomorrow. Its was now 2pm on Friday afternoon and we were looking forward to finding our new home, unpacking and having a day’s sleep, all that driving had really taken its toll on us. Jesus told us that no phones on the island were working because of the lightening storm earlier.

We followed Ava about 10/15 mins drive to Cala Blanca, as we drove into the resort we saw a huge glistening white hotel. “Oh no ” said Stuart ” not the fifth floor please”
We drove on passed the hotel around a roundabout 300mtrs up the road and stopped. I got out the car , looked at the cream stone attractive buildings and started to walk towards them, “No” Ava said and pointed towards a block of crumbling brown 4 storey flats across the road and said “here”.

Slowly we walked towards the main entrance, hopefully the inside would be nicer than the out. Ava fumbled with 3 sets of keys, no doors opened, we tried the next floor up, then the next, a key turned, the door creaked open. A small dimly lit room met our eyes, Ava opened the bedroom door. “This room I think is for Duggie” ‘ thankgoodness’ I thought. We followed Ava back to the ground floor, room 10. She tried another key , with some help from Stuart the door swung open.
Did I say earlier , we hoped it wasn’t our apartment that was struck by lightening ? now I wasn’t so sure. Ava put the key on the table and made a hasty retreat to the door “see you tomorrow” she said and she trotted off down the corridor.

Any video’s you may have seen from holidays from hell were put to shame by what met our eyes, A small living room, what furniture fitted in looked like it came from a house clearance leftover sale. Everywhere was thick with dust. Opening the next door I found the kitchen, big enough for a sink ‘ as promised’ a small dirty fridge & a smaller even dirtier cooker. Yuck ! I think were my first words. Another door lead to the bathroom, another small dusty room, with a washing machine in the middle of it. Not plumbed in & no electric, but a washing machine all the same ‘as promised’ no water to the bath or beady, but a few small trickles from the shower, & no water to the toilet ! well this is fun -isn’t it.
The third door lead to the bedroom, on first sight a built a wardrobe, set of draws & 2 single beds. On closer inspection these turned out to be 2 metal frames with a bit of chip board balanced on the edges and a chunk of thin foam for a mattress.

We slid back the patio door to let some air in and look at the view, we needed to open them to do this as the dirt was so thick we couldn’t see through them ! The patio was covered with broken glass, carefully we stepped out to look at the view. Briefly & probably best described as an over grown waste land containing discarded rubbish from building sites and about 9 hungry wild cats.
We locked the patio door ,using the traditional 2 broomshank method, and headed for the phone. Of course no phones on the island were working We walked down to the towns main area, shops, cafes & bars everywhere, all empty. No tourists until Monday. We took our pick of the tables and sat with a coffee planning our next move. We sat looking through our newly acquired phrase book, trying to find the best one to say to Jesus about the apartment, such as “I think my eyes may need testing” or “do I need an injection for this”

The waiter began practising his English on us “how you wanna pay ?, credit card, cash or wash the dishes ? cash today but maybe by next week the dishes.
We decided to go for a sleep, things always look better after a nights sleep they say, they obviously don’t say it when your stuck in a dive in Menorca.

To be continued tomorrow,

Show website www.thedreamweaver.co.uk

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Summer Season in Menorca for comedy Stage hypnosis show

A Trip of a life time
Day 4 Saturday:

They say thing look better after a good nights sleep: Maybe true, but I now know that sleeping on a thin bit of foam that’s placed on a piece of chip board, that’s balanced on a small metal frame, is not conducive to a good nights sleep.

The following day in Jesus’ office could be described as amusing. We pointed to pages on our contract
- a two bed roomed, 3* apartment it read, our apartment is no * we told him.
See he said there are 3 stars, you, Duggie and a singer there ! and there is a couch in the living room.
Well you can imagine our answer !

Finally it was agreed we would contact some letting agents and find a larger more suitable place to live and they will pay some of the cost equivalent towards it.

We headed into Ciudedella: the old capital but still the largest town on our end of the Island.
A market was in full swing in the town centre, we wandered around the stalls, watching Duggie bemuse the locals, asking them where he could buy a toaster in Glaswegian. I made may first purchase in Spanish, a new bag with lots of pockets & zippy bits to carry all the usual tourist junk around, phrase book, sun cream & paracetamol, (incidentally it has now fallen to pieces, but a bargain at the time.)
The sun was shinning for the first time in 3 days, maybe things would work out and this would be a fantastic summer, the three of us decided to get some lunch and started looking for a nice little bistro. They all seemed to be closed, well better head for a supermarket, strange, they are closed as well.

We soon discovered that it was now bank holiday and everything would be closed until Tuesday !
To be continued:
“we wont have starved although we may have lost some weight between us if we cant find any food”

Show website www.thedreamweaver.co.uk

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Stage Hypnosis Show Summer Season in Menorca

Day 5 Sunday
A quiet day, not many people around, we had a long walk around Cala Blanca & found the beach at last.
Later we found Hotel Cala Blanca, one of our show venues, “We don’t open until Thursday” Matt the children’s entertainer told us, he looked no more than 18 himself. (I have been told its a sign of getting old when doctors and police men look young, hopefully this doesn’t apply to rep’s) He showed us the room & stage where all the entertainment happens, and taught us a Spanish phrase to help out with the locals: when they ask how are you today ? translated the phrase means, I’m sweating like a pig ! Apparently they like to hear this, a great ice breaker !

We decided tonight would be a good night to go out & do the town, we put a note under Duggies door to meet us at 8.30pm.
Duggie arrived promptly on time, a few drinks ahead of us, he’d been in the local bar most of the day watching football. We headed off down the road, Duggie swaying behind us, all the bars were empty, its quite eerie walking around a thriving ghost town
Finally we found the Irish pub & sure enough about 10 people were there. After 2 bottles of San Miguel, Duggie was asleep ! we nudged him awake & walked part of the way back with him , not a good idea ‘doing the town’ when everything s closed until Tuesday, including most of the hotels.

Day 6 Monday
We spent most of Monday driving around the island, visiting the hotels where we are working this month, not many had any guests yet, everything was being cleaned or painted, potted plants arriving by the van load, it was a bit like walking around a film set before the actors arrive. A pleasant but tiring day. Finally we got the cooker to work, made ourselves a big pan of spag bol and went to bed around 10pm.

To be continued….tomorrow the” Island opens for the summer,” the first tourists arrive and we have our first show of the season

Show website www.thedreamweaver.co.uk

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Summer Season in Menorca for Comedy Stage Hypnosis Show

Day 7 Tuesday

Another busy day, went into Ciudella again & found 3 letting agency’s, using our phrase book and a lot of sign language we managed to let then know what we were looking for. They said they will check there files and do some searching for us.

Finally managed to write and post some cards back to England. Around lunch time we decided to partake in the local dish of Paella, one of my favourite meals back in the Uk, keep in mind that mine were normally from a packet mix.

The waiter arrived with a big grin on his face and a sizzling pan in his hand. He proceeded to place huge prawns ‘in all their shells, “legs & all “on the plates in front of us, muscles in shells, other whole strange looking creatures and some strange looking crab legs (or so I thought) followed by traditional rice and peppers.

I starred at the plate in front of me eye’s, legs and icky looking things ! Stuart laughed, knowing my feelings on eating anything that’s looking at me.
“Doesn’t look like the one we do at home ” I said, but I’ll try anything once. As I began to dig around with my fork I decided the best idea was not to look to closely at what I was eating and just enjoy the taste. I surprised myself how well I did easing things from their shells to my fork and finally into my mouth, the crunchy bits were a bit unnerving and the occasional squids leg stuck to my teeth, I managed about 3/4 before deciding I really didn’t want the tackle the little black things with legs !
A sweet caramel for afters soon took the remaining salty taste away. A must experience for all first timers to Spain, but I now make my own from scratch using chicken instead.

Tuesday evening, first show night
.
We loaded up the car around 6pm and headed off to St.Galdena. Hotel Cala Galdena, a four star very impressive looking building in white marble & lots of fountains, the show was to be held outside, by a spectacular pool was a large wooden stage, complete with lighting rigs and a Spanish sound engineer. The seating area was set with wooden tables for about 500 people.
Shame the season had just started and the hotel only had about 70 guests, about half of which were German ! the other half were Thompson Gold over 65’s from England. “I think you’ve got your work cut out for you” I commented to Stuart.

A Spanish boy, girls duo were our warm up act, well, I’m not sure warm up is the right phrase as the sun was heading rapidly lower as the evening chill set in.
9.30pm show time, after various Spanish and German introductions, with polished shoes and well lacquered hair The Dreamweaver Comedy Stage Hypnosis Show arrived on stage, at first not many people moved, eventually 4 people 2 men 2 ladies all with their white hair gleaming under the lights arrived to join Stuart on stage.

I bit my lip, this is going to be fun… all 4 went under hypnosis, our radio mike started breaking up the sound man rushed to the stage with another, this happened 3 more times during the show. he told us there was a taxi rank near by and it was possible that they were using the same frequency.
The crowd (I use this term very loosely as its hard to call 70 people a crowd in a room that holds 500) began to join in with the clapping and cheering and by the end of the night everybody had enjoyed themselves immensely.

After the show one of the Gentlemen who had been on stage with Stuart came to have a quick word, he apologised as he thought that possibly his pace maker was interfering with the radio mike signal……….

Stuart later commented that it was a good job it hadn’t been the other way around and the mike hadn’t interfered with the pace-maker ! that would have been fun, not quite as much as feed back from a hearing aid ! (but that’s another story)

Continued tomorrow... a Chinese restaurant opens in the apartment under ours !!!

Show website www.thedreamweaver.co.uk

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Summer Season in Menorca for Comedy Stage Hypnosis Show

Day 8 Wed

Today was another busy day, we found the mobile phone shop in Cuidella, its confusing enough buying a phone in English, you want to try doing it in Spanish. An hour later we were the proud owners of yet another new toy.

We went to see Jesus and give him the new number. He told us the repair men would come to fix all the things in our apartment tomorrow morning, after all we’d only had 6 days with no flushing toilet, and very little hot water but the is Spain, I should clarify that this is actually an Island, a very small Island and not main land Spain, things like this wouldn’t happen on the main land “would they?”

I mentioned earlier about the 9 cats that live outside, we have become quite use to seeing them run to greet us each time we appear on the balcony. Did I also mention that underneath the apartment there has been a fair bit of building noise from dawn till dusk ? Well we have just found out that this is to be a new Chinese restaurant. For days now they have been hammering, drilling, painting & welding getting it ready for opening next week. Jokingly we said ‘quick count to cats’ Yesterday only 3 cats were around; today none !!!
Either all the noise has scared them away or the restaurant has started to stock its freezers!

We are managing to pick up some of the Spanish language quite well, in Spanish Stuart is a Hipenotithadore, which he quite likes saying as it sounds like matador ! Speaking of which,they have live bull fights on the TV some evenings, which is a pretty gory sight, you find yourself rooting for the bull to win, and the other night it did ! Some guy ended up with half his face & chest ripped open ! I don’t think they would dare to show this on English TV but they really seem to enjoy this kind of thing out here, even their news will show as many close ups of dead bodies or people bleeding as they can fit into half an hour, a lot more expressive than the UK TV even the adverts which are very popular over here, for instance if the UK were selling a shampoo they would show a woman washing the hair on her head with it, last night we saw the Spanish version and the woman was in the shower washing all her body hair with it (oh come on I don’t need to spell it out, use your imagination)

My sun tan is coming along slowly but nicely, a couple of hours ‘rain permitting’ on the balcony each morning as I write this account. We’ve sharp learned to pull all the plugs out before going out as you never quite know when the lightening will come. Jesus and Ava say ‘maybe only one more week then sunny most of the time’. well this is Spain after all.

Shopping in the local supermarkets has also been an eye opener. The fish counters put Safeway’s to shame, buckets of prawns, squid and things with eyes, legs and even teeth ! If that’s what’s caught locally I’ll stick to the pools not the sea.
All the meat counters are surrounded by full legs of bacon, or jamon, as its called here, including the trotters, as you can imagine, for all those who know me well, and those who don’t, I believe your getting the picture: when we’ve been shopping I stick to the tin’s and fruit isles & send Stuart to buy the cheese and meat.

Continued Tomorrow: We hit the recording studio and show number 2 has a rocky start

stage hypnosis website www.thedreamweaver.co.uk

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Summer Season in Menorca for Comedy stage hypnosis show

Thursday

So yesterday Jesus told us to be in as the men were coming to fix our water problems. Well so as you join us we had waited for the repair men to call all morning ( 4 hours ) with no sign. Jesus has just rung and told us the men have a big problem on the job that they are on at the moment and it will now be tomorrow before they can come. That’s another morning gone.

Duggie arrives and shows us the new phone he’s just bought and asks Stuart to show him how to use it. We set some washing away in Duggies machine (we still have no water remember) and start packing the car for tonight’s show. We need to go to Mahon today and collect the mini disk with the Spanish, German show introduction on, Jesus has given us some directions to meet Jose, the recording engineer at his studio.

We arrive there around 3.30pm Jose speaks only a little English, just enough to communicate that Stuart must record the introduction in his own voice.

After sometime he translates a simple Spanish introduction, but has trouble running the words comedy and hypnotist together, in Spain they take hypnosis very seriously, and they also still believe in witchcraft !
“Buenas noches señoras y señores”, Stuart repeats parrot fashion the whole phrase take about 7 seconds. “Good says Jose playing back the recording, now in German please, ok, so who knows what the word for hypnotist is in German ? We all look blankly at each other Ava has a translator on her computer so we call her, after a few minutes searching she tells us ‘Hypnothise. Jose puts the phrase together and in his best U boat commander voice Stuart records it onto the disk.

Finished disk in hand we head for tonight’s venue around 5.30pm. Lord Nelson apts in St. Thomas, a pleasant looking complex, a small stage area outside near the pool. We are told that Pedro, head entertainment man is not on duty until around 7pm. He decides whether the show will be inside or out. We have a wonder around their local shops and reappear at 7pm. Unlike Pedro who turns up about 8pm, tonight we will use the outside stage he say’s, so we load the gear onto a trolley and head for the pool stage. Ten minutes into set up the heavens opened, not forgetting this in Menorca ! We head for cover Ok so the show will be inside tonight.

Stuart asks where the dressing room is, we are met by a blank stare. Then Pedro points to the men’s toilet and says you can change there. Stuart gave him that deep , meaningful look, ‘We need a room to wash our hair and get changed, one that locks’.

“no is not possible, you can change in the toilet” “Ok ” says Stu, “no room no show” and started heading for the door ! (I will add at this point that Stuart does not normally act like a pre-Madonna but was actually testing how far he could push)
Pedro’s face was a picture. “wait ! you wait please I speak to reception”. Sure enough 2 mins later he returned with a key and showed us to a dressing room complete with shower “sorry he said I only been here 4 days and know nothing”.

9pm The Dreamweaver Comedy Hypnosis Show, the lights are dimmed, the smoke machine and flickering effect lights are switched on and the play on music “Dreamweaver” comes loud over the speakers. Suited and booted Stuart appears on stage, just as a huge clap of thunder and flash of lightening happen over head, (very dramatic couldn’t have timed it better if we had tried) Unfortunately it had wiped out the towns electric supply !!! plunged into darkness, the only noise was a few children screaming.

I must hand it to the bar staff within seconds they had torches out and were lighting candles, “anyone would think they were used to this happening on the Island” They had a small back up generator and managed enough power to get some lights onto the stage area, being a professional the show will go on.
It went well considering the size and lay out of the room, the fact the Stuart had to shout to make himself heard over the sound of the rain and thunder, not enough power for the mike or music but what the hey, everyone had a great night, lots of clapping and screaming I think they really appreciated the fact that Stuart had done a full show for them despite all the odds.

Pedro told us how happy the hotel manager was that we had performed and invited us to have dinner at the hotel next week as a thank you. It was nearly midnight when we started re-packing the car and heading back to our apartment the longest drive is only 40mins, so all shows are like our local ones at home. Finally crawled into bed around 2pm and slept soundly.

So many people say they think I lead such a glamorous life, well I hope these little peak behind the scenes will so you the real us.

Continued Tomorrow.
please join us again we get new neighbours upstairs and nearly reach breaking point

Show Website www.thedreamweaver.co.uk

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Summer Season in Menorca for stage hypnosis show  Part 9

A Trip of a life time
Being the wife of a comedy stage hypnosist is not as glamorous as some people think thank you for following my ramberlings

Friday
We awoke to the gentle sounds of birds singing and the Chinese, drilling and banging. The cats are still a no show, as are our work men. Duggie arrived with our dry washing (bless him)

Around 1pm we head off to see Jesus. He gives us the key for apartment 8 on the same floor as our building, he say’s we can use this apartment , it has water, hot and cold, flushing as well luxury ! he say’s for us to give him the key back before the Four Tops arrive on the 10th!

The workmen finally appeared around 5pm and fixed the toilet, balcony door and living room light. They say they will come back on Monday to fix the rest. 30 mins after they left we turned a switch on and Bang all our electric went off ! We decided to move into no 8 as we now had no electric and the water had also stopped. The rest of the afternoon we spent ferrying our belongings along the corridor.
Some of the furniture in no 8 was even shabbier than ours and smelt of cats we decided to do some major removals.

We settled into no 8 despite the scaffolding erected on the balcony ! did I mention the building is being given a face lift. All the grotty brown tiles are being chipped off, yes on the outside wall of our new apartment, well at least the workers have the weekend off, so no more drilling and banging until Monday. “Things can only get better promises Stuart” (fingers crossed)

We get ready for tonight’s show, Princess Playa, a grand 4 star hotel, another mixed language venue, only half full of guests, the animation team (I use that title very loosely) tell us they will do a children’s disco now for half an hour then Stuart will start at 10pm- there will be nothing but a Tom Jones CD for the 40mins between. Don’t get me wrong, I quite like Tom Jones, however these guests are paying for entertainment, not to watch granny have one sherry too many and dance around the table.

10pm show time, lights, camera action. The Dreamweaver Comedy Hypnosis Show takes to the stage, Oh is there a hypnosis show on tonight says a lady near me, obviously the animation team had do their work well ! (not) Stuart makes his opening speech and asks for volunteers, eventually 1 man comes forward, he asks again and again, no-one moved, he does what he can with the 1 man but after 35 mins the man begins to pop, again he asks for more people , again no body moves he explains to the people “this is your holiday, without volunteers we don’t have a show.”

35 nail biting minutes and the show comes to an end.

Talking to people afterwards, I discovered there were only 10 English people in the room and about 5 of them were young children !
We arrived back around midnight, our apartment is hot and humid, the sweet smell of Chinese cooking fills the air, a take away and bottle of wine seemed like a really good idea around now.

I switch on the kitchen light, water is pouring through the ceiling, the floor is swimming !
Stuart rushes up stairs to the apartment above, the woman will not open the door, but luckily her husband is coming up the stairs “no habla English” he says Stuart signs for him to come and look, he looks at the water dripping through the ceiling and shrugs his shoulders. “no my problem” “its your agua not ours ” says Stu from your kitchen, not his apartment only renting we manage to gather from various quick sketches, it’s his bathroom above our kitchen (its a bit like living in a huge game of charades) 2 other women appear, one speaks a little English, she writes down a plumbers number and hands it to us, “no habla Espanola , the man no habla English” says Stuart, she say’s she will call the plumber for us on Monday.

So now we have electric and too much water ! We now have a shower in the bathroom and the kitchen.

We mopped up the water and tucked into our take away and wine (which cost 60p) I ended up disinfecting the sink with it, as that was all it was fit for. “Things can only get better ” repeated Stuart, we started to laugh; the kind of laugh that comes or you’d cry.

Sunday

The phone rings, phrase book to the ready, a man tells us he has a house to rent very near to where we are now, we arrange to meet him at 12.20pm.

We found the house after a little detour, very grand , overlooking the sea, gardens, pool, the lot, after another game of charades and with the help of pen and paper he tells us he wants the equivalent of £4,500 a month in rent, we thank him for his time and bid him a hasty goodbye.

The people up stairs used there bath twice more that afternoon then went out, after mopping it up we thought we’d be tourists for an afternoon and spend the rest of the day the beach despite the impending cloud cover heading our way.
We stayed there until 7pm reading books and soaking up the sun, watching tourists finally give in to whaling children wanting ice-creams. Its funny but the cry of “but I want one!” sounds the same in all languages !

That evening we headed for the “Vista Playa ” the bar next door to our apartment, where we met Karen, an English girl who works on reception and the karaoke, and her husband Cisco other wise known as the mad waiter of Cala Blanca. He likes to entertain the crowd during the karaoke if someone sang a love song he grabbed a table cloth of the nearest table jumped on a chair and pretended to hand himself of the beams, being as tall as Stuart (6ft 4″) he also had trouble with palm tree branches hitting him in the face as he was trying to serve, over the next few months his party piece will be to start fighting with the branches and eventually attack them with a meat cleaver ( there weren’t a lot of leaves left on the trees by the end of the season) but we have had some very good nights out here and made good friends with the staff.

Show website www.thedreamweaver.co.uk

Continues on Monday: we reach breaking point

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Summer season in Menorca for Comedy Hypnosis Show week 3


A Trip of a life time :
Being the wife of a comedy stage hypnosist is not as glamorous as some people think thank you for following my ramberlings

The next morning we awake bright and early at 7.30pm , despite no having gone to sleep until after 2am, this was largely due to the builders who cranked up their radio and begin drilling, now is a good time to pack up and move to our new apartment we decide ! By 12 noon we were busy unpacking in our new home.

By 4.30pm everything was done, tired but in high sprits we go for our meeting with Bernat & Jesus. They had liked the hypnosis show very much and asked if we will do 20 shows a month , instead of the 14 that had been arranged,as they are negotiating with some more big hotels, we tell them that we are here to work & earn money so of course.

Stuart is to be top billing at the hotels with his “spectacular show”

The Dreamweaver Comedy Hypnosis Show will be seen all over the Island this summer

” I guess they enjoyed the show then ” said Stuart with a rye smile.

The shows that following week were picking up in numbers, instead of the 50/90 we were now finding crowds of 100/150 at most shows, video & CD sales started to average around 3/4 a show which was a good job as we were running very low on funds, and much to our dismay found ( good tip number 1 for anyone visiting Menorca ) was their cash machines and banks did not take a Northern Rock Link card ! and since that was the account we had put our funds into before leaving England, things were starting to get a bit tight !

Bernat had promised to advance us 10 shows of money, he told us he would organize a transfer to our account on Friday (another useful tip for anyone transferring money in Spanish accounts, when they say 5 days they actually mean not including siesta time, festival time “of which there are a lot” or weekends, so 5 days normally means between 15 & 20 days)

Most of the next few days were spent scrubbing and disinfecting every corner of the apartment ready for the children coming, a couple of hours by the pool then off to another show.

Telefonica finally arrived to put in our new land line, yes internet at last. Jesus was left with the task of trying to get Bernats transfer hurried up.

Continued tomorrow The dancing girls get unwelcome visitors

show website www.thedreamweaver.co.uk

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Summer season in Menorca for Comedy Hypnosis Show

The Dancing Girls get visitors

A Trip of a life time :
Being the wife of a comedy stage hypnosist is not as glamorous as some people think thank you for following my ramberlings

Sunday arrived, our day off ,deciding to treat our selves to a traditional Sunday lunch.
We set off on our quest. To no avail none of the local bars were doing a traditional English lunch so we ended up at Jenny’s bar, just down from our apartment for roast beef chips & gravy. I had melon in port for starters, a couple of them and I’d probably have slid under the table ! Stuart tucked into a plate of muscles in tomato sauce, which actually became a firm favourite with him over the coming months. Tender roast beef in a mouth watering gravy followed by ice-cream and a large jug of sangria.

Happily we staggered around to the pool to cabbage on sun beds for the rest of the day. In the evening we headed for Cisco’s for karaoke, Duggie had just finished a show there and with the aid of a few whiskeys was in full tilt kareokeing. In the end Cisco had to wrestle the microphone from Duggie so some of his other clients could have a turn, but Duggie ended up back on stage trying to Duet with them.

Next morning we headed into town “Ciudedella” to collect some money from the bank, shopping list in hand, a new cot for Alexander top of our list. (who was 6 mths old) our smallest two children were due to arrive with us in the next few days, Grandma and our niece Gillian were bringing them out to us, the older two would be joining us once the school’s broke up for summer. I had missed them so much at this time.

“no” said the bank clerk as I handed him our pass book, “there has been no deposit made” Again we head straight to Jesus’ office, he calls Bernat, again he says “tomorrow, defiantly”

Jesus tells us he is also waiting for money to transfer as all 18 acts are now skint, “or words to that effect”

The girls from the next block down have been here for 8 weeks now as they needed to rehearse for a few weeks before the season began, they are dancers in the Disney Show most of them have now taken bar jobs through the day to make ends meet.

We decide to fill our shopping list anyway, using the treasured credit card, and arrive home fully laden with cots, highchairs & sterilizer.

That evening we go to Cala Blanes to watch “The Chico Show” these are a family of Russians who juggle, throw knives and generally entertain with special dances, including tap dancing in Tutu’s & flippers whilst jumping on musical frogs, (you really gotta be there)

Just to help set the seen for what follows
our new apartment is on the main predestine street, with shops and restaurants. We are above a small supermarket, the dancers are on the next block down the shop beneath them is empty, the windows are white washed, we have know idea what it used to be. Those with a delicate dispossession stop reading now……..

So we get home around 11.30pm and open a bottle of wine and sit out on the balcony watching the night life wined down. Suddenly there is screaming coming from down the street, not your average screaming, but hysterical screaming lots of it, by 5 girls, they come running out into the street (some of them not really wearing a lot of clothes) sobbing, shouting and frantically rubbing their hair, arms and legs.

We rush down to the street to see what’s going on, Jenny’s bar is still open and we take the girls inside, they are all shaking and ramberling, Tony gets some table clothes to wrap around them (preserving some modesty) eventually they calm down enough to tell us what just happened……… Now I take it most of you have seen the film “The Mummy”, do you remember the seen in the tomb when all the beetles pour out of the walls and fill the place ? Well this is about the best description we can give, all of a sudden from out of their toilet, taps, plugs, walls & floors, thousands of cockroaches burst into their apartment, horror. Yep I would have screamed as well.

The police arrive, some kind soul thought someone was being murdered, good job we had Tony there to try explaining what had happened.
Environmental health were called, it turns out that the empty shop under their apartment was a butchers last year. Apparently a pork carcass had been left to rot, cockroaches bread, bit style, to the point where they had burst the seams of the shop and come up the pipes and inside the walls…….. “I did warn you, horrible, still makes me itch to think of it”

The whole block had to be evacuated and then fumigated.

Continued tomorrow. please join me again tomorrow

Show website www.thedreamweaver.co.uk

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Summer season in Menorca for Comedy Hypnosis Show

My babies arrive on the Island


A Trip of a life time:
Being the wife of a comedy stage hypnotist is not as glamorous as some people think: thank you for following my ramberlings

We had got to know our neighbours names quite well, long before we ever introduced ourselves, they are a Spanish family with 2 small boys and 2 very noisy dogs, doesn’t seem to matter where we go we always end up next door to yappy dogs ! Rosa is the mother, she likes to shout a lot, especially first thing in the morning “7am onwards” at the dogs Duke & Mindy, at the boys Alex & Evan and at the father of the family Jose, but this seems the done thing out here let us not forget “this is Menorca after all” and it beats the all day drilling of Roberto the builder !

A new hotel wanted a try out show, a long drive to Cala en Porter proved well worth the effort, (I say long, given the size of the Island) their entertainment staff were excellent, by far the best crowd whippier uppers we’d met so far. We told Pedro about our experiences with other entertainment staff so far and suggested he gave lessons ! A really good audience of around 250 with about 30 children crammed into the front area, 8 volunteers run on to the stage & Stuart, delighted to find alive subjects strutted his stuff with flourish and style. At the end of the show someone shouted Hypnotise Pedro ! He arrived on stage and in less than 1 minute Stuart had Pedro laid flat on the floor, the crowd and staff were in raptures ! The Dreamweaver Comedy Hypnosis Show does it again.

We finally arrived home around 3am still on a high, Stuart stayed up until 6am working on a computer program for Jesus, as he has so many acts on the Island and so many hotels, that his paper work system just isn’t cutting it. Stuart is a bit of a computer wizard and is writing a program to help him cut his work load, and organize his files properly.

The little ones are coming this evening, we are both looking forward to seeing them so much The first week here we revelled in freedom, the second we began to really miss them, by week three, we were both talking to everyone else’s babies and toddlers, its going to be wonderful to see them again.
This blog will probably end soon after this, as I don’t see myself with much time for writing once they arrive.

We spent the day bug spraying and doing a final clean up, Spain is a very dusty place, you could sweep the floors 3 times a day and they would still need doing ! The evening finally arrived, I drop Stuart off at St. Thomas where he was performing the show that night, I drive on to Cala en Porter to deliver some video tapes from the previous night’s show and then head for the airport at Mahon.

I arrive in plenty of time, 30mins before the plane is due. I pace the floor eagerly looking at the display board, on time it says, at 9.30pm I go eagerly to the arrival gate, the plane is delayed by 15mins. Back to the pacing, the plane lands at 9.45pm, an eternity seemed to pass watching the doors open and people plough there way through, 10mins pass I start to well up inside with tears, maybe its the anticipation; 10.15pm Jillian appears pushing the double buggy , the initial greeting marred by a giant human teddy bear wondering around catching Simons’s attention, then he spots me “hello mummy, I’ve been on a big aeroplane, I missed you” “I missed you too ” I said , letting a couple of tears escape as he hugs me. Alexander had grown so much since I saw him, he throws me an amazing grin and lifts his arms for a hug. My babies are here at last.

Continues tomorrow: The boys have been on the Island 3 weeks and are a big hit

Show website www.thedreamweaver.co.uk

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Summer season in Menorca for Comedy Hypnosis Show

week 6 on the Island

A Trip of a life time:
Being the wife of a comedy stage hypnotist is not as glamorous as some people think: thank you for following my ramberlings
I said it may be a while, the little ones had now been on the Island with us for 3 weeks, and were having a brilliant time.
Simon happily lapped up his new found freedom leaping around in the pool, he became very skilled at making new friends, which was a good job as he’d just started to realise that most of them went home to England after a week. Little Evan from next door seemed to be a constant pall, although neither of them understood the other, children seem to have their own universal language, and their friendship blossomed throughout the summer.

There is a children’s mini disco every night just around the corner which the boys love going to, Simon says he’s going to learn all the dances so he can teach his big sister when she arrives!

He became a popular little character in all the local shops and restaurants and very often scored for free sweets and pop.
Alexander is also in his element, the whitest baby on the island, coated in factor 50 head to foot, he loves being in the pool, by the end of the summer we think they’ll both be swimming like fish!

The first local show we took them to Simon asked if he could go on stage & say sleep to the people using Daddy’s special microphone, but when the time came he ran off stage shouting “Mummy!” he still got a huge arrr and a round of applause. The next time they came to the show we were better prepared, when dad gave the nod I was to walk up with him and hold his hand, but when the time came was fast asleep in his buggy!
Maybe a longer siesta next time!

Continued tomorrow: The youngest ever Stage Hypnotist gets a standing ovation.


Show website: www.thedreamweaver.co.uk

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Summer season in Menorca for Comedy Hypnosis Show

Part 15:    The youngest ever Stage Hypnotist

A Trip of a life time:
Being the wife of a comedy stage hypnotist is not as glamorous as some people think: thank you for following my ramberlings

The following week we were back at the Cala Blanes Hotel, Ok we had rehearsed this  “well as much as you can with a 3 yr old !”

A long afternoon siesta, Simon was ready to make his stage debut.

Half way through the show Stuart sets the seen with the audience and the volunteers, telling them that he has passed some of his “hypnotic powers” onto his son and calls Simon to the stage.

As this point I feel I need to point out that Simon is only 3 and at that age did have a slight speech impediment and couldn’t really pronounce “S”

which was a bit of a problem, so instead of him telling the volunteers to “Sleep” we had given him a magic wand with a star on the top.

Simon took his place at the front of the stage wand in hand,  Stuart then told the volunteers to look at the star on the wand and Simon would use telepathic hypnosis to send them to sleep, it took a couple of minutes but eventually all 8 of the people on stage were asleep, the audience went wild. As Simon made his way back the a few people in the room started to stand and clap, within second the whole audience were on their feet applauding.

“Stuart said maybe he needs to take lessons from Simon, I told him its more of a cute thing and I don’t think you can learn that !”
After the show one of the women who had been on the stage told me that she was sorry it took her so long to go to sleep when Simon was hypnotising her, but she was having a difficult time focusing on the star in Simons right hand, as his left was down the front of his shorts “obviously a boy thing”

OK……. so next time 2 wands !
Grandma had decided she would return to England at the end of week, Jillian stayed on with us as our nanny,which worked out very well she was a god send, great company for me when Stuart needed his sleeps, we spent many happy hours around the pool with the little ones, she is a natural with them, in a month our 14 year old daughter will be with us and Jillian will have company in the evening times as well.

Continues tomorrow: Duggie has an accident and goes missing !

show website www.thedreamweaver.co.uk

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Summer season in Menorca for Comedy Hypnosis Show

Duggie goes missing

A Trip of a life time:
Being the wife of a comedy stage hypnotist is not as glamorous as some people think: thank you for following my ramberlings

The sun had been out for weeks now, blazing down on us daily, the thunder and rain storms long forgotten. As all the acts were using their own PA systems it meant packing the car each night, setting up at the venue, doing the show, stripping the gear, re-packing the car, driving home and unloading the car as the sun warmed the cars so quickly in the mornings that your sound equipment might melt ! the heat was starting to get to some of the performers, and it was going to get hotter.

Meanwhile Duggie was starting to have problems. Two weeks earlier he’d got a dose of Spanish belly and had missed 4 shows, then he failed to turn up for a 5th claiming to have lost the paper with his dates on. Last Tuesday he called me and asked me to phone Jesus for him and cancel that nights show as his bathroom light had just exploded, he had glass in his eye & was on his way to the doctors. It was one of our only nights off, but Jesus asked us to cover for Duggie and perform the hypnosis show at that hotel tonight, the agency reputation was starting to suffer, we agreed “brownie points for us again”

The following day we went to his apartment to see how he was, but got no answer when we banged on the door, we tried his phone but it was switched off. Jesus called us to see if we knew anymore as he had phoned all the local doctors & hospitals and know one had heard of him !

(I think I have already mentioned that its a very small Island, and everyone knows everyone)

We asked at the local bars & shops, but know one had seen him. This continued for 7 days, Duggie was missing, his car remained in the same spot and we tried knocking at all hours on his door, but still no Duggie.

Stuart had already told us that he had been present last weekend when Duggie had received a call from England, telling him his best friend was dying from cancer & only had a few weeks left. We believed this may have sent him over the edge, adding to the fact that he had very little money left, his shows weren’t going as well as he’d hoped as he’d already been dropped by 2 hotels, and another 2 were very unhappy as he had let them down a couple of times

We were all very worried, Jesus got a special police order on Saturday morning to break down his door fearing the worst.
He asked Stuart to be present, he was not overly keen on the idea worried about what they may find, but agreed.
Jesus arrange to meet Stuart and the police at noon.

Then as if on cue, Duggie was spotted at his local bar 11am and legless.

Jesus went down to talk with him but later told us Duggie was too drunk to talk. Also there was nothing wrong with his eye, he’d just sunk into a 8 day bender with his beloved whiskey ! Jesus told him he was very angry with him and he must be in the office on Monday sober, or he will be asked to leave the Island !
It was a relief that he was safe, at the same time we were annoyed that he had been so thoughtless.

When we first met Duggie, whiskey in hand, he told us that he never drinks back at home, and if his family come out he wont be drinking.
I now believe that Duggie was a recovering alcoholic, however judging by his performance last week I no longer think he’s recovering.

Continued Tomorrow: we get bad news from home

Show website www.thedreamweaver.co.uk

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Summer season in Minorca for Comedy Hypnosis Show

Bad news from home

A Trip of a life time:
Being the wife of a comedy stage hypnotist is not as glamorous as some people think: thank you for following my ramberlings

The Dreamweaver comedy hypnosis show was growing ever more popular, and we now had the choice of dropping a hotel as we were performing 26 shows a month, and it was starting to take its toll on us.

“The Audex Hotel” which was the only venue we actually disliked, not only the staff but the whole atmosphere was wrong. After a diplomatic discussion with Jesus and the hotel manager Stuart said he would try there only one more time, but only if the hotel agreed to advertise outside, one of their major problem was they only advertised their shows with a poster in the dinning room, which meant only those who chose to eat there knew what shows were on, the number of times during set up or sound check that we were asked if we were singers…….. The hotel had no animation staff to warm up any crowd up “not that you could ever call the small scattering of people a crowd” and as stated the waiters and reception staff were less than helpful or friendly.
Two weeks later we arrived to do their show, there were no posters out side at all, we left all the equipment in the car and went to see the manager, he said he had not yet found any wood to put poster on, it had been 13 days since the meeting ! Stuart said “fine tonight you have no posters and no show, your a terrible manager and your hotel is like a morgue!” we then called Jesus told him what had happened and have never set foot in that hotel again.

Now if you have been following the story you will know we still had a teenage son and daughter in England. Our daughter was due to fly over in 3 days, she had been staying with her Nan and Granddad “we managed to get permission from her school to break up 3 weeks early” our son was joining us in a month, being the eldest and more responsible of the two, he had been left in the family home, being looked after by our nephew and his girlfriend.

So it’s a lovely sunny morning we are sitting on the balcony drinking coffee and watching the world go by when the telephone rings: It’s my Dad, “hello” I say “this is a nice surprise, I thought we were calling you this evening” “Yes, a surprise, maybe not one your were wanting to hear” It would seem that the previous evening my daughter had been playing out with her school friends, they had been playing football, it had gone over a fence into the local mini bus lock up compound, now in her 13 year old wisdom, she decided to climb the fence and get it back, now that part went without a hitch, however on the return her jacket caught on the wire and she lost her balance when she jumped down, landed awkwardly and is now in hospital nursing a broken leg. Any mothers reading this will know the emotions I went through over that time, my poor little girl, and I could do nothing to help.

Obviously this also meant there would be no flight over for her this week, in fact not for another 6 weeks at least !
After a couple of call’s to and from the UK, my son rapidly had her flight ticket changed to his name (that’s brothers for you, all heart !) Gillian is really happy, someone to go pubbing with on her evenings off.

Continues tomorrow: Chris arrives and we arrange to have knives thrown at him !

Show website www.thedreamweaver.co.uk

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Comedy Hypnosis Stage Show Our summer season:
Social life on the Island

A Trip of a life time:
Being the wife of a comedy stage hypnotist is not as glamorous as some people think:  thank you for following my ramberlings

During the summer season we were lucky to meet up with a lot of wonderful people, a few of whom were also entertaining at the hotels. If you have been following my story, when we were at the ferry port in Barcelona, I met 2 girls also on their way to the Island, one a singer/comic and the other a children’s puppeteer. “Debbie & Kelly” They became very good friends of our’s and even to this day ( 8 years on ) we are all still firm friends.

Wednesday night became party night for all we poor over worked entertainers, taking turns as to who was hosting we started to meet up after our various show at around 1am for supper, drinks and to swap the weeks worth of stories, our neighbours were great and even joined in when it was our turn, probably better than just being kept awake by the noise ! as we normally had a house full.
Debbie & Kelly (brought tortilla and guitar’s), Duggie, (brought whiskey!) Mr. Shakey & Sarah (brought a banjo) Elvis (brought his latest squeeze) The Russian Chico show (brought vodka) and the dancing girls who brought high heels and lip-gloss, and were the source of many a new blonde joke.

These little get together normally went on until 5am and included lots of singing along to guitars and banjo, we ended up writing a song between us which became a bit of an entertainers anthem on the Island, set to Nirvana’s “here we are now entertain us” with lots of rhyming verses including “tiny dressing rooms and smelly trainers”

Continued Monday: our eldest son arrives on the Island & is introduced to the “reps game“

show website www.thedreamweaver.co.uk

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Summer season in Menorca for Comedy Hypnosis Stage Show
The reps game

A Trip of a life time:
Being the wife of a comedy stage hypnotist is not as glamorous as some people think:  thank you for following my ramberlings

Now I do need to point out that is all happened 8 years ago, our eldest son is now happily settled down with the love of his life, however at the age of 17 he was young, free and single and introduced to the reps game.
Isn’t it funny how we have different standards for our son’s and our daughter’s ? if this had been my daughter I would have locked her in the apartment and never let her out alone, because it was the son apart from the “be safe, be careful” speech we let him get on with it, never thinking these are someone’s daughters !

Now Chris got to know the local hotel rep’s very well, they had all been on the Island for at least 6 weeks longer that Chris so were well ahead in the game.

The rules are easy:

In one of their apartments they have a big points chart on the wall, the more sexual conquests the more points, extra point for trophy’s “such as underwear” triple points for name it, this meant sitting watching the coaches arrive at the hotels and watching the young ladies / and men (oh yes the female reps were also playing) and naming which one’s they were going to have that week !!

As responsible adults we can all look at this through horrified eyes, but when your between 16 & 21 as most of them were, working in a hot country for the whole summer, well it was probably one of the most exciting times of their young lives.

I feel quite ashamed to admit that at the end of the season Chris actually had the most points and had won the game, and I was strangely proud, and at the same time mortified. The males of our family and friends patted him on the back, nodding murmuring things like that’s a boy. As previously said, I’m not going to say I approve, but I am please it was my son and not my daughter …………..

Continues tomorrow…… My daughter and her best friend arrive on the Island “they will not be playing the game”

Show website www.thedreamweaver.co.uk

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Summer season in Minorca for Comedy Hypnosis Stage Show
My Daughter arrives

A Trip of a life time:
Being the wife of a comedy stage hypnotist is not as glamorous as some people think:   thank you for following my rambering

Those following my story will know that my daughter should have joined us a long time before this but due to an accident where her leg was broken she was delayed. Still on crutches but now the plaster is off she gets the OK to fly over, now given what I have told you about “The Reps Game” and the fact that she at this point is a stunning looking “15 yr old” blonde, and to make it worse her best friend is also coming, also 15 also stunning with waist length auburn hair:

I am sure you can imagine the worry I was feeling.

Although:  I have already told you how superstitious the people on the Island are, also given that Dad is a 6ft 4in Hypnotist I feel some how the odds may be on our side.

The Island is a very small place, and everyone really does know everyone,
We got to know some of the local’s well during our time in Spain, and consider a lot of them good friends, one of my favourite characters was Ramón, the security guard at St. Thomas, we spend many happy hours trying to teach each other English/Spanish with the aid of our trusty phrase books.

We also knew most of the hotel and bar staff, especially those around the town where we lived, so we started a rumour, and a very good one at that, if flew around the Island like wild fire,
“any man who touches the daughters’ of the hypnotist will instantly be hypnotised to cut off his own penis”

(and the best bit is they all believed it, to the extent that waiters carrying trays of drinks would swerve so they didn’t even brush against the girls let alone bump into them…….

OK a bit wicked I admit, but tough times call for tough measures….

Continues tomorrow Duggie gets his own back on the dancing girls

Show website www.thedreamweaver.co.uk

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